My shoulders are not so strong.

Last Friday was supposed to be an important day for me as my Supervisor and CT will be observing my lesson formally. I already felt very stressed and tired becos of the super-heavy workload and the 24/7 working routine. I work 7am to 7pm almost everyday and after reaching home, theres more marking and lesson planning.

But the day became SHOCKINGLY IMPORTANT to me. I received a phonecall from Mum at 4am in the morning, saying that my Dad was admitted to TTSH and waiting for operation. I literally jumped out of bed, prepared myself and rushed to the hospital la.

I was worried sick for my Dad, but also very worried about my observation. Hai.To cut things short, observation was carried out smoothly and currently my Dad is still in pain - the after effects of the operation. For the past 2 days, I slept less than 5 hours each day. Morning, visiting. Afternoon, home to pick up siblings and visiting again. Night, send mum to work and visiting again. Middle of the night, pick mum from work and send her to the hospital.

I feel so tired and drained out, both physically and mentally. Today is Sunday and I have not done a single lesson plan for Monday. The stress bug is here again, and Dad will be discharged today too. So there are too many things for me to do. I am so fucking screwed and I really detest my life now.

I have to worry about work, and have to worry about Dad. I even have to worry about my siblings, because they simply cannot think properly. How I wish they can grow out of this irritating phase soon.

For the following weeks, I am not sure how I am gonna handle the work and stress from both sides. I will need to bring dad back for occupational therapy, as well as changing his dressings in the polyclinic. I have to clean his wound everyday too.

Fortunately, somehow I am farmiliar with these. I can totally understand the feeling of going to the polyclinic to change dressing and to clean wound everyday. So at least I know how Dad feels, and make sure his wound remains clean and not infected. Hopefully his wound can recover completely soon.

My shoulders are seriously not so strong afterall.

Dear heavenly Father, thank you for giving me the power to carry out the lesson smoothly last Friday. I pray for the power to stay strong at this phase of my life, and I pray that your healing hands will be upon my Dad and Mum who is not feeling well too. I pray that you can grant power in my siblings for them to understand the situation and do the best they can for our family and their studies. I pray that you can grant me concentration so that I can do well in work and lastly, good health for everyone in this world. Amen.